On first impressions, Eileen Mason looks like your standard, run of the mill great-grandma. If you didn’t know her, you’d probably think she spent her days drinking cups of tea, playing card games and talking about how kids today don’t know how lucky they are. But Eileen Mason isn’t your everyday OAP. And one hapless, wannabe criminal found this out the hard way earlier this month.
Picture the scene: Eileen had just spent the afternoon at the local OAP lunch club in Wiltshire, chilling with her elderly homies and eating lunch. All good so far. She says goodbye to everyone and hops on her mobility scooter to drive home, accompanied by her friend Margaret Seabrook. On their way home, a thief appears from behind a nearby bush and goes to grab Margaret’s carrier bag out of the basket on her scooter.
Now sometimes, people will steal for understandable reasons. They could be going through a hard time, trying to provide for their family or something. But you don’t steal from a helpless old lady, that’s not cool, man. But this would-be thief didn’t care, he spotted these helpless old ladies and saw an easy opportunity.
And that’s where things got interesting. While Eileen may have looked like an easy target, this was all a ruse. After this guy grabbed Margaret’s bag, Eileen sprung into action. She hit the accelerator on her scooter, called out “oh no you don’t” and rammed the guy, knocking him to the ground, before the pair sped off, side by side.
I can’t get over how much I love this story. Just imagine the shock on the guy’s face. He thinks he’s found an easy steal, only to find Eileen, local OAP crimefighter, ready to stand up and be counted. She’s tired of these damn hooligans and did something about it. She’s not about to stand back and let you walk all over her. She’s all fired up on cups of tea, biscuits and those little sandwiches cut into tiny triangles. She’s hyped up and ready to kick some mugger ass. She’s even got her out punchline, ready to just fire out as she puts pedal to the metal.
Everyone has dreams of what they would do if they were put into this sort of situation. You can’t tell me you haven’t imagined a scenario where a mugger is trying to take your things, and you take them down in some epic, action movie fashion. But for most of us, these are little more than fevered dreams.
The world is a scary place, full of scary people. But I, for one, feel that little bit safer knowing there are people like Eileen Mason out there, watching over us. She doesn’t need our thanks or praise, she’s just doing what she knows is right. She’s the kind of hero Britain needs. A silent guardian. A watchful protector. She’s a grey knight.